Curandera Podcast · Episode 2 · 17 October 2026
Ayahuasca and Women's Health
Tatiana Aya Tupinambá · Hosted by Charles D. Johnston
Menstruation, miscarriage, abortion, breast implants, and body image. Tatiana Aya Tupinambá and Charles D. Johnston make space for an honest conversation about women's bodies, personal experience, and self-compassion.
40 min·Watch on YouTube
Subtitles in English, Portuguese, Spanish, French, German, Italian, Dutch, Japanese and Russian are in the player. The translations are YouTube's own.
What does it mean to listen to your body when the messages around you tell you to ignore it? In Episode 2 of the Curandera Podcast, Charles D. Johnston brings Tatiana Aya Tupinambá questions about ayahuasca and women's health, including questions shared after the film and her recent teachings.
Tatiana speaks about her experience of menstruation and ceremony, the taboos surrounding women's bleeding, and recognizing when her body needs quiet and rest. The conversation moves into miscarriage, abortion, grief, and the possibility of meeting a painful experience with compassion.
She also shares her experience with breast implants and modeling, and reflects on the difference between changing how we look and caring for the life within us. Her perspective is personal, traditional, and spiritual. It is an invitation to reflection, rather than a medical answer for every woman.
“Listen to your body, listen to your body, all the answers is there.”
What they talked about
- 0:00
Charles introduces the podcast
The questions behind this conversation about ayahuasca and women’s health.
- 0:30
Ayahuasca and women’s health
Charles introduces the themes women have been asking about.
- 1:20
Menstruation: Tatiana’s experience
Tatiana shares her own experience of menstruation and ceremony, and her relationship with menstrual blood.
- 9:12
Menstrual taboos and cultural beliefs
The beliefs women encounter around bleeding, ceremony, and their place in society.
- 15:27
Listening to the body and rest
Noticing how the body’s needs change from month to month, including the need for care and quiet.
- 17:09
Miscarriage and abortion
A sensitive conversation about loss, grief, self-forgiveness, and compassion.
- 26:56
Body modification and breast implants
Tatiana reflects on modeling, her breast implants, body image, and learning to care for herself from within.
- 38:18
Tatiana’s closing reflection
A final reflection on the heart, the body, and the life we carry.
- 38:44
Closing thoughts
Charles closes the episode and invites listeners to continue the conversation.
A note on care
This conversation includes miscarriage, abortion, and body image. Tatiana speaks from personal experience and a traditional, spiritual perspective. This is not medical advice or a recommendation to use ayahuasca, change contraception, or stop prescribed care. Individual health decisions belong with qualified health professionals. Our medical disclaimer says more.
Discernment, informed consent, clear boundaries, and trusted support matter. Sexual predation, financial exploitation, manipulation, and abuses of power in ayahuasca spaces must be named and challenged. You have the right to say no and to leave a space where you do not feel safe.
Continue the conversation
If this conversation speaks to you, share it with someone who may appreciate it. Join the Curandera newsletter at the bottom of this page for future conversations, and bring your questions with care for your own privacy and the privacy of others.
Credits
- Hosted by
- Charles D. Johnston
- Guest
- Tatiana Aya Tupinambá
- Opening music
- Ícaro (soft take)
- Closing music
- Linda Medicina (vocal excerpt)
Read the transcript
The corrected English transcript. Download it as text.
00:01Charles: Welcome to the Curandera Podcast. We're so glad you've joined us. This is our second episode. And today we're going to be talking with Tatiana Aya Tupinambá about Ayahuasca and women's health. So stay tuned.
00:16Charles: You're going to learn a lot. Please share. And we love that you're here with us. Enjoy.
00:30Charles: So Ayahuasca and women's health. We have from the movie received a lot of comments. And from your recent webinar, many people have been asking. And we've noticed that there are some common themes.
00:43Charles: And I think you are particularly suited to answer many of these questions. And so today I want to address a few questions for all the women out there who are thinking about drinking Ayahuasca or have drunk Ayahuasca.
00:57Charles: We want to answer some of these more intimate questions that come up around the drinking of the medicine. So the first thing we want to talk about is menstruation. Should you drink Ayahuasca on your period?
01:13Charles: Should you not? Is there something wrong with it? Tell us Tatiana.
01:20Tatiana: Thank you for the question. I love those questions actually to answer those questions because there are so many questions out there that we need the answers. So keep it coming with those questions.
01:31Tatiana: It helps me to know what to share. So, menstruation and Ayahuasca, in my experience myself as a woman, I never had a problem with drinking medicine during the time that I had my blood.
01:47Tatiana: I never had a problem drinking medicine before, after, or during the bleeding days in my period, in my moon.
01:56Tatiana: And I have served many women. I don't know how much. I don't keep counting of people that I serve. Many, many women in that period. And also I don't have anything to report on the negative side other than the positive side.
02:11Tatiana: If someone cramps, the cramps go away. Usually in the beginning when I start practicing with the medicine,
02:19Tatiana: cramps are really strong. And I will drink medicine when that happens and the cramps will go away. So it will help me to manage the pain so much. During the period, I'm going to ceremony also, like the tension that comes to the body, the heaviness of the body, and some weight.
02:35Tatiana: I feel almost like a weight that we are carrying, like in the lower part of the waist, in the back part of the waist. There also, the medicine helps to alleviate this weight in the body.
02:47Tatiana: I feel a little bit more connected to myself. I practiced the connection with my body for a long time. Even before drinking ayahuasca, I was already some in tune with my body, listening to my body, experiencing my body, other than just reading about a body, reading about it, or listening to someone talk about a body.
03:07Tatiana: I would like to have the experience directly with my body myself. So if medicine is not different. When I drink medicine, the medicine creates a space inside of myself, of my mind, that I can actually navigate in those levels where I am, my womanhood, my womb, visiting the sacred house that is inside of this place, inside of us, that we carry throughout
03:29Tatiana: our life. This house of life that gives us health to the body, the life that comes through that, like a baby form, for example. So much we can learn from this place in our body.
03:42Tatiana: So in my experience, the short, direct answer is that, no, I don't have no negative experience with drinking ayahuasca in my period. And I don't have any negative thought or need or ideas that were put in there, seated in my mind, that made me believe that I should be ashamed of my body, ashamed of my blood, or anything of that, or powerless,
04:04Tatiana: because I have blood that's suddenly making me powerless and more vulnerable. The opposite is true. We talked a little bit in the previous video how women become this portal. It becomes a portal, the body becomes a portal.
04:18Tatiana: Sometimes the portal is for a baby body, like a human being should come through, giving life, and sometimes it's through blood, the blood comes through. And that blood actually is one of the most sacred blood that we can be found, because otherwise, for us to encounter blood, something has to be sacrificed.
04:36Tatiana: We have to cut and there will be pain, and something has to die, and then the blood, we can use the blood. For many, many things, we can use the blood in that way, especially when we eat the food, right?
04:47Tatiana: Like we go to the animal kingdom and we eat that. It's not without sacrifice. This blood that comes through the womb is a blood clean of sacrifice. It is pure, in a sense, in a way, it's a pure blood that comes, and we can fertilize so many things.
05:07Tatiana: The most common that we know about fertilization is the soil. We can fertilize the soil through the blood. And those practices are ancient practices, practices from a long time ago, but today, those practices are coming back a little more as womans around the world become more in contact, and with the deep connection with their body, with themselves, they start also remembering.
05:31Tatiana: I know that society fears women in so many ways. The way that womans are repressed is the very example how society fears women. If it didn't fear women in such a way, then womans will be in a different place, literally, for us to experience the world.
05:50Tatiana: So then, because society fears women, women actually start believing that they are weak and they must be feared for some reason. They are maybe not worth it. They are not powerful enough. So they start fearing themselves.
06:03Tatiana: And because they start fearing themselves believing what the society tells them to believe, then they lost the connection with the most divine part of themselves. It's very important to bleed. Women out there, they have stopped their bleeding for some reason, some rational reason also.
06:21Tatiana: Coming from a masculine world, that you have to be productive and productive and productive, and the bleeding gets in your way of it being productive, that is not organic and natural to your health and not to your body.
06:33Tatiana: So now, maybe you are young and you stop your blood, but eventually your body is going to catch up with it, stop off the flow, and something is going to overcome your body.
06:42Tatiana: Not in a good way. The body has to flow. You can compare your blood like a river. You can't put a dam in the river to stop the water, but it's going to cause so much death in the place where the river is not flowing anymore.
06:58Tatiana: So the same thing. We stop our blood and we pay a price. We don't know the price yet, but eventually the price is going to be charged. And the body is going to pay that price.
07:07Tatiana: So if you chose to stop your blood, study a little more. Study a little more. Get closer to yourself, to your mind, to your womb, to your heart, to your womanhood, to the ability that you have to create life inside of this body.
07:23Tatiana: It's like the most amazing tool that you're ever going to have sitting right here, yourself. So to learn more about that. And I will also invite the women that stop their blood to invite their blood to flow again.
07:41Tatiana: Invite your blood to flow again in your life. Because without that, where is the intuition? We all need to be guided through intuition, through a calling inside of us. And that comes in women through the womb.
07:54Tatiana: So then I'm lost. I need medication. I'm confused. I'm depressed. And my blood is not flowing. So we can also start from allowing the blood to flow. And allow the body to be organic and healthy, stronger the way that it's meant to be.
08:09Tatiana: Not my ideas of how my body has to be productive and do and do and do. No, no. Like if I want fruits, I want to take care of soil and nurture and water soil so the plant can give fruit to the same thing.
08:23Tatiana: It's for the body. And if I stop, if I'm nurturing a soil, there will be no fruits. The same thing. The blood is nurturing our bodies. Nurturing also the aspect that is not physical of ourselves.
08:36Tatiana: Our intellect, the way that we think, the way that we are straight and focused. Blood does amazing things to the body of the woman. So yes. Through the medicine also we can learn so much of those deeper things that we cannot find in books.
08:51Tatiana: Because most of us are going to look in books to understand. We can experience our body directly in those deeper places through drinking medicine. Absolutely. And then it's always positive and good. And we're going to learn so much when we do that, the practice with medicine.
09:10Charles: All right. So you're recommending people to drink while they're in their periods. Why do you think it's come through culture just quickly? Why do you think it's been recommended that women not drink medicine while they're on their period?
09:28Charles: Sometimes women have very strong experiences. Sometimes they have no experience. It's a little unpredictable. What has been your thoughts around why that would be recommended that they not do that?
09:42Tatiana: In all the times, ancient times, women were feared because women could be like, they could get in a state of uncontrollable. People could not control them. There was times that women, like they start off the control of women.
09:55Tatiana: Women were free and do whatever they please. And suddenly the control comes into place. The control comes to place. The women start believing that they are weak. And when they believe that they are weak, they get disconnected from their body.
10:06Tatiana: When they get disconnected from their body, there are a status of, I don't know, intense hysteria, I would say. Hysteria. Hysteria. If I lose complete connection with myself, with what is going on in my womb, in my mind, there will be overcome, affect in the body.
10:27Tatiana: That can be like hysteria. It can be like even myself, before knowing my body the way that I do today, when my period is, when the phase of my period is close, I will get in such a rage.
10:41Tatiana: And if I am not, if I am not learning how to deal with those energy that comes over me when I am in my womb, then I can cause a lot of disruption in my environment.
10:54Tatiana: I can cause a lot of disruption in my own life because fire is burning and I don't care because the energy is so intense and I can cause harm for myself and I can cause harm for others too.
11:04Tatiana: So I do see the patterns that before women were free, then they became controlled because they became
11:12Tatiana: uncontrolled by themselves. They cannot control themselves anymore because they lost the connection to their root, to their womb, and then become feared. They become very feared. The religion feared woman, the society fear woman, the men, the patriarchy fear woman, so becomes very feared.
11:32Tatiana: So then this fear translates in history that we read today in the things that we study in the books that the women are dirty.
11:43Tatiana: The woman should not touch anything when they are bleeding. The woman must be isolated when they start bleeding because if they don't know how to control themselves in a normal state, imagining when they are open as a portal, how you're going to control this woman?
12:00Tatiana: It becomes a thing on its own when it's bleeding and there's this before of the bleeding too. Here I think I make an observation of my own that this should be not overlooked, not inside of the families, not inside of institutions, not inside of companies neither.
12:18Tatiana: There is something happening to the body of the woman and the woman needs space to express and allow the body to do what the body does, to be healthy. Not only in the level of the body, but in the level of the mind as well, to relate to the world, to the outside world.
12:34Tatiana: A medication that I can put implant inside of my body, take it so my blood stops so I can be productive, that only serves to the machinery of society, that doesn't serve for my health.
12:47Tatiana: So then there is a lot of fear around, well we forgot the power of a woman, well we forgot the miracle there is, this bloody flowing, what we forgot of life giving, this being there, actually life comes through it.
13:02Tatiana: There is a lot of that was forgotten because it's forgotten, this forgetfulness is taking place this long upon this earth. But then slowly and slowly consciousness is rising and of course the awareness, the woman becomes more aware of themselves, they see more and more and the curiosity too for the woman to see themselves more and more.
13:23Tatiana: So going back to the question, why is that? Well if a society doesn't know how to do it, they put in the box and hide it away. Right? There is the easiest thing to do, instead of me investigating, brain taking apart so I can understand and I can know and I have experience myself, it's better for me to pack it in the
13:43Tatiana: box and put it away. And woman's health and woman's also empowerment, have been inside of a box for a very long time. So then we're going to see examples of that in the church, we're going to see examples of that in the medicine, in the medicine practice as well, we're going to see in the jungle, we're going to see everywhere there is
14:02Tatiana: humans and there is woman's, we're going to see some examples of that. But we can accept that as truth or we can actually challenge the establishment. What
14:16Tatiana: is being said, we can challenge that and we can choose to have the experience ourselves. We can choose that was actually my choice. I'm going to have the experience myself. The man telling me not to drink medicine, I'm going to drink medicine in my period.
14:30Tatiana: so I know exactly what it is to drink medicine at that time. The women will tell me: “Don’t drink ayahuasca when you are in your moon.” I'm going to have my own experience and know what is this experience.
14:45Tatiana: So for now, all these years I have a drink in medicine in my period especially, now in my period so it can give me some sense of alleviation, I'm going through those days and all my experience have been very positive.
14:59Charles: And some women have said that during their period that that's a time to preserve their energy, to maybe withhold from doing a lot of activities or going in groups or something like that.
15:15Charles: And so how would you respond to those women that feel like, oh I actually don't feel I should drink ayahuasca during my period because I need the space to process, it's a deep process.
15:27Tatiana: Listen to your body, listen to your body, all the answers is there. Absolutely my body tells me if I feel good to go or not go, my body tells me if it's time for me to cocoon because their month is different than other month.
15:43Tatiana: This month is different than the next month and it's different than the next month. So every month when the week is getting closer to the blood flow, I know what my body will need.
15:54Tatiana: It needs more quietude, it needs to release things. Sometimes I choose exactly those windows to resolve things in my life that is very difficult because I have enough energy also some month, enough energy to resolve all the things that is unresolved in my life.
16:10Tatiana: So much fire that comes through that portal. Sometimes I feel like a little child that I just wanted to be cared for. I wanted to be laying down, I wanted to be in the warm, I wanted to do baths.
16:23Tatiana: So listen to the needs of your body. And that is also a great practice to start with, listen to the needs of your body. Our body is thirsty. we don't notice, we go on and on and on, all day long we don't drink water.
16:38Tatiana: Listen to the needs of your body. My blood comes and it's right there, the body needs it, it's right there loud telling me what is need. If I need to be in quietude, if I am meant to go to the river to sit there on the rock, it's right there.
16:53Tatiana: The noise is right there. So it's just being quietude and connected to those parts and so the answer for you will be there. We will also know that if it's for you to drink medicine when you are in your period, the same way that your body will tell you.
17:08Charles: Alright, so we've covered menstruation and drinking ayahuasca. Now I'd like to talk about and understand your thoughts on the experience of having a miscarriage or an abortion and how ayahuasca can support those processes or support the after effects of having those processes.
17:36Charles: Obviously
17:38Charles: miscarriages are usually not wanted, abortions sometimes are necessary or not depending on the situation. But often times we work with people who are feeling
17:51Charles: deep sense of trauma from these experiences. What has been your process with those two
18:01Charles: parts of women's health that come up?
18:04Tatiana: Sensitive questions are very important questions too. For us being human beings upon this earth we have lived through many experiences. And some of us have gone through much more trauma than others but this is a human experience.
18:18Tatiana: And inside of the human experience we have that. We can have children that are unwanted, the children can go away before it's time, we can choose to let it go, we can choose to keep it.
18:28Tatiana: It's very sensitive because it's like about life. It's about the preservation of life. And if you really get close to any human being you will understand that every human being has that great sense of preservation of life, of themselves.
18:46Tatiana: All the cells in their body don't want to die when they are beaming with life. So there is a great sense of preserving our life. And when you get deeper into understanding more, as you get more understanding into your life, you will also want to preserve all life around you.
19:03Tatiana: So medicine, when we drink medicine and we have gone through strong experiences like that, the common thing that I see is that medicine opens up our heart. Medicine opens up all the great centers inside of ourselves.
19:18Tatiana: And when our heart is open in that way, not just in the physical matter but in an invisible, spiritual matter, we understand that life is precious. Medicine comes through us, opens the doors like the key that it is, and they understand that comes through us.
19:35Tatiana: And as we contemplate those subjects, medicine shows us because it's already inside of us. It's just not showing anything that is not there. The importance of preservation of life. Preservation of life, your own life, the natural life, as nature, all the life around you.
19:53Tatiana: So it's easy if I have gone through experiences like that, abortion for example. And I have difficulty forgiving myself because I wanted, I didn't want to have gone through that experience. I wish that experience was a different experience.
20:07Tatiana: So many things that we can come up in our mind when we go through such a traumatic experience. What I have to say is that all experiences teach us to grow tremendously. All the things that happen upon you, my life is for us to become stronger.
20:26Tatiana: So if you have gone through that and you have a hard time forgiving yourself, look to your life as it is today. It is a miracle. And things that have passed is a very past, is in the past.
20:38Tatiana: And if it is still causing pain, that probably means you didn't learn the lesson. If the things in my past are still causing pain in my life now and it is affecting my present life, well, I have to contemplate longer into that because I have taken no lessons.
20:54Tatiana: When I took the lessons and I embodied those lessons, then I see that if I chose to do an abortion in my past, then I already know that what I have learned, then I am grateful also that that experience happened.
21:08Tatiana: Otherwise, I will not learn the lesson that I know today. If I have miscarriage, well, because of the body, because of the circumstances, because the very spirit that came through the body was not where it was not meant to be here, same thing.
21:22Tatiana: Medicine is going to touch upon the preservation of life. And on preservation of life, we cannot mistake it. It's not just preserving life as we know in the physical realm. Life is a continuation.
21:35Tatiana: In this realm, physical realm, it is also a continuation in the invisible realm. And in the invisible realm, energy goes on, souls, spirits of people, human beings, goes on. So there is no, like, a period that something is stopped.
21:52Tatiana: It is a continuation. So if I have miscarriage today, I can see through the eyes of my heart. The baby that experienced that did not meant to be for me. It meant to be for me to this point.
22:07Tatiana: And now the soul has its own journey to take. I have my own journey to take. What are the pain that comes? The mothers that wanted to be mothers dearly. Some of the women wanted to be mothers since they were little children.
22:22Tatiana: They come little children. They already know they're going to be mothers. And they come to adulthood. Maybe they mistreated their body. Maybe they didn't have the right circumstances. And then they cannot have babies as easy.
22:34Tatiana: So when they finally get pregnant and they miscarriage their baby, it's a really painful, painful experience to have for a woman. But what is actually the experience going to cause to this heart in the big picture?
22:51Tatiana: Is it going to teach deeper love, deeper appreciation for life, gratitude for what is innocent, for what is sacred? Something is going to happen. Or it's going to turn into something darker. I'm going to become bitter.
23:04Tatiana: I'm going to become darker because I had a miscarriage come through my body. Then medicine comes in and shows more for me. My experience brings my mind to see the big pictures of everything.
23:18Tatiana: The big picture of life. The big picture of what we are doing here. And when medicine showed me that, it's so much easier for me to have a compassion towards myself. Because if I chose to do abortion at some point in my life, I didn't know better.
23:33Tatiana: I didn't know anything better than that. And I am sure if the amount of things that I had in my hands at the time, it was the best that I could do. So instead of me punishing myself for what
23:48Tatiana: didn't happen, punishing myself for, "Oh my God, I didn't know better." No. I forgive myself. I forgive myself for I didn't know better back then. And now I know. And now I search to know more.
24:02Tatiana: Because I wanted to come out of this place of numbness and ignorance. I wanted to know more. And as I know more, I'm blessed to have the practice of medicine. I'm blessed to have the practice of the diet, isolation, contemplation, meditation, yoga, all of that.
24:17Tatiana: And blessed to have that in my life. And we all can find a practice in our life that can help us
24:23Tatiana: integrate and also embody those experiences that was not integrated and not embodied. And so many of the traumas in our life as we go through them, we do not integrate them. We create again a box that we put on the side, that we put in the corner inside of our mind, and we leave it there.
24:42Tatiana: And that box keeps opening up and revisiting, and re-informing the present life, the present day. So invitation for someone to have to go through a trauma like that.
24:55Tatiana: Be compassionate to yourself. Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself from the past when you had this experience. Forgive yourself now for no knowing better than, but you can know better now. You can be a greater person, a human being right now.
25:13Tatiana: And if we actually change and shift just some little things inside of the mind, the way that we see ourselves, believe about ourselves, We are blessed with more life-giving. Also we remember that life-giving is also not just the baby in our arms feeding on our breast.
25:33Tatiana: The life-giving comes through the words in which we speak. It gives fruits and seeds, like babies, baby-like seeds. The thoughts that we think and the thoughts that we plant in our environment. The beliefs that we have for the good of all, the good of ourselves and the good of all.
25:56Tatiana: You know, those are life-giving seeds that we are keeping pouring out. We are keeping pouring out from this womb. We are keeping pouring out from this heart. And choose to be that. Choose to be the life-giver to yourself.
26:10Tatiana: Choose to be the life-giver to your environment, to the world. Choose to be the life-giving. And we are that. And we are so blessed. We have this house of life-giving inside of us.
26:20Tatiana: Use it well.
26:23Charles: Okay, awesome. I think you covered that well.
26:28Charles: I think it's a very, as you said, it's a very sensitive topic. It's a very difficult topic for many women and for men as well. Myself, having not had a miscarriage, but being a part of the experience of miscarriage, it's something that can never truly leave you, but you can learn from and grow from absolutely.
26:51Charles: And does not have to haunt you. So thank you for sharing that. The last thing I want to touch on is this idea around
27:04Charles: body modification. Specifically, women who have, well, maybe men too, but women especially who have gotten breast implants, fillers, injections,
27:19Charles: surgeries, tattoos, all of these things that are done in the sake of looking good, being accepted, being valued, all of this. And then oftentimes there's some
27:37Charles: rationalization that we tell ourselves to make it seem okay. But I think when we start drinking medicine, we realize something else. So what has been your experience with people who have body modifications, such as breast implants, and then drink medicine, what did they learn?
27:59Charles: What happens for them as they start to understand their body more and think about these things a little bit deeper and from your personal experience?
28:08Tatiana: It's funny because when I hear that word, it makes me laugh. What word?
28:15Tatiana: Body... Modification.
28:18Charles: Body modification.
28:20Tatiana: Because it almost feels like a machine that is changing parts, you know?
28:24Charles: Yeah, kind of.
28:25Tatiana: But we are not machines, so that is kind of funny, kind of a little bit difficult to put it in place. But I thank you for the question.
28:35Tatiana: Tattoos, out of all those things, from my own experience, I did tattoo when I was younger, and after medicine I went taking my tattoos off.
28:44Charles: I have a tattoo. I have no problem with it after drinking medicine. I like my tattoos too.
28:49Tatiana: I want to take them off. But tattoo was like a sacred ritual in the ancient times that became popularized, and then now everybody do tattoo for random stuff, and then some really...
29:04Tatiana: ridiculous type of tattoos.
29:07Tatiana: I don't know why people do that, but I know, like, you're cropping your whole face and doing things like that, monstrous like, things like that. It's like crazy that human being goes that far in the level of their disconnection to themselves.
29:22Tatiana: The implantation of the body and the modification of the body. In my own experience, though, when I started drinking medicine, as I mentioned to you before, I used to be a very vain person.
29:35Tatiana: So my body, the way that my body shaped it, was very important for me, because I didn't have much to offer through the point of view of my mind. So my body was like doing the talk, per se.
29:46Tatiana: So I was very...like, you're going to the gym like a crazy person and paying attention, and everything coming in the body in a way, like, to give me the ultimate result of the body.
29:55Tatiana: I did do breast implantation at some point in my life, also doing those things. I used to do model campaigns for a short period of my life, and off that body, body, body, body, body.
30:12Tatiana: But that was also the phase of my life that I was the most disconnected from myself. I didn't know who I was. I had the idea of who I am to be in society as a person, but I didn't know my assets.
30:24Tatiana: I didn't know who I truly was inside, in a deeper level. So who was this person living inside? I just know the person that is like showing off, you know, like in a sense, like a persona, a masquerade person.
30:39Tatiana: And because when I...and from that point of view, like, being that persona, being the masquerade person, just for the physical, the most important in the pedestal,
30:49Tatiana: when I was by myself and going inside, it was kind of sad, you know? I didn't understand the life that I was living. I didn't understand what life was about. I didn't understand what is this human being collective being upon the Earth.
31:03Tatiana: I didn't understand the physical, different from physical, from no physical. I didn't understand anything. So naturally, knowing that little, my body, it was the most important thing. And I understood when I started drinking medicine, the level of disconnection that I had with myself when I visited myself in those phases.
31:23Tatiana: I started drinking medicine immediately. I wanted to do something different. I didn't want to treat myself in the same way, per se, you know? I was living a healthy life, going to the gym, working out, to pay attention in my food and things like that.
31:38Tatiana: But I was not doing the work from the inside out. I was just doing the work in the inside. Just like, for example, we have a beautiful house with a lot of glasses, and just make sure that the outside glasses are shiny, but inside is like a dump, you know?
31:55Tatiana: Like a really nice house, like who would do that, you know? So the same thing for me, I said that, for example, very nice house on the outside, the shiny window, but when you go inside, not so much greatness to be found.
32:08Tatiana: So medicine, when I started drinking medicine, I started to understand the deeper level of disconnection that I was, and I wanted nothing more but to know myself better. I wanted to know the parts of me that I didn't understand.
32:20Tatiana: I wanted to know what is it in this life that I can know so I can actually have a chance of life. Because for many years in my life, I didn't thought I had a chance of living a longer life.
32:35Tatiana: So then medicine started showing self-love in the ways that I did not love myself. And they are very clear. When we see in the places that we don't love ourselves, it's very in our face, the things that we do in our life that is out of love for self.
32:50Tatiana: So when I started, first thing I think drinking medicine, it was very immediately that I decided I cannot have implant in my body. There was this thing that I had the breast implant that I will hug people, especially when I start practicing yoga really early, I had to have a drink of medicine maybe a couple of times in my life.
33:12Tatiana: And I will hug people and I will feel the implant between me and the person instead of feeling the chest, the heart of the person. And that will start to freak me out a little bit.
33:24Tatiana: More and more that I will have the experience, I will feel more weird about that. And that sense will stay with me and I will know that this is not normal, this is not natural.
33:33Tatiana: And then other things too, like as I practice yoga and I continue my practice of yoga also, like some openings of the body that I will do, I will completely feel the implant inside of my chest and that also will not make me feel good.
33:47Tatiana: I almost felt like it was on a way I put something blocking me to feel my heart in a sense. That was something that grew so big that it came to a point that I decided that I'm going to take it off.
34:01Tatiana: I didn't spend much time with it, I was lucky in that way because I know that many people have a problem, healthy problems as they keep implanters in their body for so long.
34:11Tatiana: So the awareness came faster for me because of medicine. Because I truly believe if I did not have the experience with the medicine, it would take me much longer to become aware of anything, even if I will have any chance.
34:25Tatiana: I don't know, maybe I will not even have a chance to go and know myself in such a way. So then when we drink medicine, we learn the deeper sense of loving oneself.
34:35Tatiana: And from that seed of loving yourself, you're going to understand and learn also to love the others around you, the planet that you belong into and all of that. When we learn about self-love, we also very clear know that mistreating the body, not treating the body well, changing the body, cutting the body, putting things inside of the body.
34:56Tatiana: So as soon as I can have the look that the social media is telling me that it's beautiful, that is not out of self-love. So it's a very simple thing, very simple and short joining as well.
35:09Tatiana: From not loving yourself and then you do and you feel like you have to go upside down, changing yourself in such a way so you can be accepted by the society, so you can be loved the way that you feel you should be loved, changing that to loving yourself.
35:24Tatiana: You don't need the love of anyone else other than your own. Find their own love that you have. You have a reservoir. You are given that heart for a purpose. You have a reservoir of love sitting there waiting for you to witness it so you can actually shower your system, your life, your body, your understanding about yourself.
35:45Tatiana: So when I drink medicine, my understanding changes completely. And I truly believe that I become more beautiful as the year comes and drinking ayahuasca, yes, but also taking good care of my body and loving my body and drinking plants and wanting to be organic and natural like the nature around me is.
36:06Tatiana: I have no business of putting plastic inside of my body and cutting my body so I can be a different person or I can look a different way. Yes, for taking care of yourself.
36:16Tatiana: I love to take care of myself. I love to go to the facials, to do the facials. I love to go to the dentist. I love to go to the blood tests and all of those things.
36:27Tatiana: There are levels of it that we know that we can care for ourselves that is healthy, caring for ourselves. And then there are other levels that is unhealthy already that we can see.
36:37Tatiana: And if we cannot see, maybe our friends can tell us, you are exaggerating, you are going too far, and maybe it's a good thing to listen to those voices and maybe even our own voice.
36:47Tatiana: Oh my God, do I really need this to feel better, to feel more beautiful? Yeah. Listen to those voices around you that tell you that you are beautiful as you are, because you are.
36:58Tatiana: There is nothing that we can do to ourselves. Nothing, absolutely nothing that will make us more or less beautiful. You are beautiful from the day you came to this earth and what was given to you, you are a miracle in flesh and bones.
37:12Tatiana: Nothing that we can do can make anything better than that. We feel we are a miracle in flesh and bones. My God. And when I actually cultivate consciousness inside of me, I become the most beautiful person.
37:24Tatiana: I become the most beautiful heart. I become the most beautiful mind. So what else can I want? Cut myself so I can become what? Like Frankenstein. Frankenstein.
37:38Tatiana: No Frankenstein. Yes. So look yourself in the way that you are beautiful. If you never look into your eyes, look deeply into yourself. And I invite you to
37:54Tatiana: see the beauty that is already there inside of you. Drinking medicine or choosing practice in your life, they can allow you to see the natural beauty that is already sitting there. Once you find that, nothing more can add into that.
38:12Charles: All right. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for your teachings today Tatiana.
38:18Tatiana: Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. If any of those subjects touch you or anyone that you know, please do share. We are passionate about educating ourselves and I wanted nothing more to see that in seeds around the world.
38:36Tatiana: We feel inspired to educate ourselves and to know thyself. There is no higher path. So thank you.
38:44Charles: Awesome. That was an awesome show. And we're so glad that you're still here with us. We are overjoyed by the opportunity. We get to share some of this education. These are from experiences of many hundreds of people who have sat with us over the years and have shared.
39:02Charles: And now we're getting to bring it out into the world and give you an honest look at Ayahuasca and the various things that go on in people's lives. We hope that you enjoyed this episode about Ayahuasca and women's health.
39:16Charles: And please share this with your friends. Send us a comment. Send us an email. Let us know what else you'd like to learn about because we're here to provide teaching and education of all things around Ayahuasca, spirituality, health and wellness.
39:32Charles: So again, my name is Charles Johnston. We were here today with Tatiana Aya Tupinambá and stay tuned for the next episode. Have an awesome day.